I’ve been pretty quiet when it comes to putting my query letter out there for people to review and see. Of course, I’m not counting any family or friends who read through it, helped edit it, and all that jazz. I love them, and I appreciate their advice, but I think they’re a little partial and completely biased. As I’m getting older, I’m realizing that I need to put myself out there a little more to see if there are any words of wisdom from the strangers on the web. So, without further ado, here is my current query.
September 17, 2019
Dear Ms. Agent,
My name is Tiffany Berry, a once upon a time city girl dragged to a small, southern town in Kentucky by a redneck Marine, where I still stop my car for critters scampering across the road, much to the dismay of my neighbors. As a transplant to Kentucky, I have fallen in love with it over the past decade, which is why I weave it into my story. This girl bleeds blue, and I have read that you have a soft spot for BBN as well as animals, so I am hoping my story resonates with you. I am seeking representation for my completed 72,000-word young adult fantasy novel, ASHYER BLACK AND THE DRAGON STONE. Here’s a brief description.
Twelve-year-old Ashyer Black wasn’t always a slave, but that changed when the Noctis infiltrated every branch of government, every city, and even the smallest of rural towns, enslaving all the humans, including the children. Ashyer’s imprisoned in an orphanage with Kase, his only friend, who Ashyer has spent his life protecting. As Ashyer approaches this thirteenth birthday, fear pushes his friend, Kase, to the edge. As Ashyer clings to a strand of hope and defies the Noctis, someone from their past shows up where he least expects them to and breaks them free.
As they flee, Ashyer finds out he is made of magic. Not only is he made of magic, but he is a Venator, a magic creature who comes into their powers right before their thirteenth birthday. He barely has time to come to terms with it before he is shipped off to Magtech Vocational Academy (M.V.A.), School of Magic and Technology.
At M.V.A., Ashyer learns about the Noctis—once Venators that turned to using forbidden, dark magic. During the school’s annual Sortilege Ceremony, Ashyer’s scroll marks the path to the Dragon Stone – one of the stones keeping Arsen Valdis, master of the Noctis, locked up to where he can’t destroy every world. Ashyer is determined to end the Noctis’ reign of slavery over Earth, but secrets unfold, and warnings are given as Ashyer and his friends prepare for the journey to recover the Dragon Stone, removing it from Arsen’s control forever.
ASHYER BLACK AND THE DRAGON STONE is about the power of friendship and the bonds of family—even when it isn’t by blood.
I’d be happy to send you the entire manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yep, that’s it, ladies and gents. I’m hoping that other fellow writers going through the querying process have niblets of information to pass along.